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Biden REOPENS KEYSTONE PIPELINE when Ben Shapiro explains it identifies as a SOLAR PIPELINE

Writer's picture: Captain SavageCaptain Savage

Ben Shapiro, like millions of Americans, was angry when Joe Biden killed thousands of jobs immediately after his oath to help Americans but instead Biden was forcing them into unemployment by shutting down the Keystone Pipeline. Biden and his administration promised new green jobs but had no information on where those jobs were or if they would ever truly exist. Ben Shapiro (whose wife is in fact a Doctor) put his head together with his team at the Daily Wire and they came up with a plan. Michael Knowles sparked the idea from his favorite movie “Me, Myself, and Irene” starring Jim Carrey who suddenly becomes someone else when he experiences a trying time. This prompted a look of discovery on Ben’s face as he glanced over at Matt Walsh who was thinking the same thing, both Shapiro and Walsh simultaneously said “By golly that's it! The pipeline will identify as a green energy solar pipeline!”

Shapiro and Walsh give thanks to radical liberals for opening their eyes to the fact that democrats must obey insanely obvious lies about reality when coupled with political rhetoric that goes against obvious truth, like a man who thinks he is a woman is suddenly not a man any longer. Walsh says “If they believe a man can suddenly become a woman then why wouldn’t they believe this oil pipeline is suddenly a solar pipeline? We’ll just tape a couple of solar panels to the top of it, sure all the plumbing downstairs will be the same but I’m sure they’ll fall for it and if they don’t we’ll call them energy transphobes." The boys burst out into laughter so hard that Knowles choked on his cigar and Klaven began a script for a new Daily Wire Movie to follow the success of the first film called “Run Hide Fight.”

After hearing that the Keystone Pipeline no longer identifies with the pronouns “oil” but is instead “solar” Biden wasted no time and ordered Kamala to “get me another of those...you know...the … the ...the things” Kamala immediately knew he wanted another executive order since he has signed more of them than he has had meals since becoming President, yet fewer of them than he has naps. Thanks to the conservatives at The Daily Wire thousands of jobs were restored and energy prices began to return to normal. You’re welcome America.




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